i like ocelots.

when i was little i wanted to have an ocelot.

we had a big forest in our back yard.

we would build snowcave forts

around halloween

that would last until spring

there were other creatures back there

skunks, racoons and rabbits

i thought an ocelot would be nice

for us to have

my brother jeff would give us

snowmobile rides after school

he'd sometimes talk us little kids into

ideas including towropes and skis

as if we were on water

we were like his little eval kaneevals

we'd almost always agree

i remember one time

him telling me, during a winter stunt session

(i was about five)

"whatever you do, don't let go!"

so I didn't

no matter what

i fell down

pretty much right away

but bravely hung on tight

after a goodly amount of

pine cones

branches

and snow

passed under

over

and (what felt like) through me

he throttled down and came to a stop

i looked at him with wide eyes

hoping to meet with his approval

for "not letting go"

he looked at me compassionately

but couldn't help but laugh

(i probably had branches in my hair by that point)

we coiled up the tow rope

and he said, lets go in for supper

it was maybe a friday

because i seem to remember

welches grape juice in wine glasses

and yorkshire pudding

with onion

sprinkled on half